


I'm sick of the chase, but I'm stupid in love

by Death2Toby



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, this is terrible im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 14:17:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13249974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Death2Toby/pseuds/Death2Toby
Summary: In which Steve comes out to Bucky.





	I'm sick of the chase, but I'm stupid in love

“You’re what?” 

“Bisexual.” The word sounded less sure than it had the first time, as Steve adjusted to Bucky’s reaction. 

Ever difficult to read, Bucky brought a hand to his face, staring down at the table for several agonizing seconds before he finally spoke again. 

“You’ve been fucking queer this whole time?”

Steve swallowed. He’d expected shock, disbelief, confusion, but what he felt coming from Bucky seemed a lot like anger. His stomach churned. “As long as I can remember,” he replied softly. 

Silence resumed between them as Bucky’s eyes darted back and forth, calculating. Steve attempted to speak again. “Buck, I—“

“This changes everything.” Bucky stood up from the table. 

“It doesn’t have to!” Steve pleaded, following the other man to the door. 

“I have to go.” 

Not many people would peg Steve Rogers for a cryer, because most often he does it alone. When the door closed, tears began spilling like a waterfall. He sat back down at the table, trying to make sense of what the hell happened. 

He couldn’t blame Bucky for his reaction. Mood swings were a lingering side effect courtesy of Hydra. Add that to the way they’d been raised, and it apparently was a rather nasty concoction.  
Steve had had a hard enough time accepting it himself. For most of his teen years he thought of it as just another one of his many ailments. Another something that was wrong with him, another way in which he was broken. 

He put his head in his hands and shook with a silent sob. After all the time it took for him to embrace this part of who he was, to build up the courage to live his truth, he was met with disdain. And from the person he trusted the most. It made him thankful, at least, that he hadn’t lead with the other part of his confession. 

There was a knock on the door. Steve jumped and cursed, wiping tears from his face as he went to answer it. 

He opened the door to see Bucky, standing sheepishly with a bouquet of flowers, which he shoved unceremoniously into Steve as soon as the doorway was wide enough. 

“What are these,” Steve asked, without meeting the other man’s eyes. 

“Steve, I’m sorry. I just had to wrap my head around this.” 

Clearing his throat, Steve looked up, trying not to be too hopeful. “Sure,” he obliged.

“The truth,” Bucky began, taking a deep breath. “The truth is I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.”

Steve’s jaw went slack as a million questions, including whether or not this was some kind of joke, flooded his mind.

Bucky continued before he could voice any. “I never told you, because— because I just figured there was something wrong with me. And you, you always had such a good heart and a sense of right and wrong and I just thought you were way too good to ever want someone like me. I convinced myself to let it be, but it was hard, so hard, Steve. It’s the reason I enlisted. I had to get some distance, I had to get away from you,” he struggled to say it, wincing, “and fuck, Steve, I’m so sorry.” 

Bucky fell into Steve’s chest, wrapping his arms around the other man’s waist. Steve, awkwardly holding his flowers in one hand, squeezed Bucky’s shoulders with one arm, not bothering with the tears that had commenced once again. 

“I’m so sorry.” Bucky repeated, shakily, apologizing for all the time they’d lost, which was as much Steve’s fault as his. 

“Buck.” 

Bucky leaned back to meet Steve’s gaze. 

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry for the rushed ending. And for the entire thing bc it’s awful.  
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Title is from Killer by Phoebe Bridgers
> 
> Hey, I made an official unofficial sequel! Read it [here!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13300089)  
> I'm on [tumblr.](http://joshgrobanismykink.tumblr.com/)


End file.
